Team Schuurman: The Art of Discipline

"My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent His rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those He loves,
as a father the son He delights in.

Blessed are those who find wisdom,
those who gain understanding."

~Proverbs 3:11-13~

      This week, we really turned a corner on learning the art of disciplining Marcus. As a teacher, it never really had a hard time with it, and in fact, I was known as one of the teachers with the best behaved classes. It just came natural to me. I thought I knew how to parent other people's children when I'd think, "they only need to spank that child and he'll straighten up." Well, there's MUCH more to it than that!
     Marcus is a loud child by nature (imagine that, LEAH has a loud child!), and he's quite energetic and inquisitive for his age. Those are all "nice" terms until he throws a fit. Recently, he's started screaming when he doesn't get his way. In Ingles the other night, we were helping Mark fix up his bread, when Marcus was losing his mind to get to the balloons. We visited them and went back to the bread, but that wasn't good enough. He screamed until I put him down, then he walked himself back there. Upon picking him up again, the fit grew louder and more intense. That's when it hit me... we need HELP!
     So the next morning, I called and spoke with 2 of the most experienced women I know: Lauri Bolen and Mary Dorris. Lauri has 8 children and Mary has 5. Both these women are held in high esteem in our home, knowing their Christian faith and also how well behaved their children are. After a long conversation with both about their own experiences and advice, we implemented a new plan.
     Now, I share this, knowing that some of you are going to cringe and think I'm being too tough, but know that our parenting decisions are bathed in prayer and we don't do anything rash or during anger. On Monday, Marcus' fits got worse and worse, and we hadn't even left the house yet. He screamed when I wasn't holding him, playing with him, giving him attention, if I left the room, if he wanted something different to eat, ANY REASON, he'd throw a fit. Well, I got out our trusty wooden spoon and verbally warned him as I let him view it. "If you keep screaming, I'm going to spank you with this." He immediately became defiant and angry again and started his riot once more. I slowly pulled his pants down and swatted his leg, under his bottom, twice with the spoon. His eyes became enlarged and filled with tears as he looked at me like, "WHAT WAS THAT!" As he erupted in tears, I picked him up and told him how much I loved him and the importance of obedience.
     We did this twice that morning, and then his day got progressively better. On Tuesday, he started to get ugly when I pulled out the spoon and gave him a warning. He did NOT like seeing that spoon and his behavior changed immediately. Thus far, he's getting better and we're trying to be consistent. Let me just say, IT'S DIFFICULT to spank your child, knowing the physical pain it causes. But let's get real for a minute, I had rather him feel a little physical pain now and learn to fear/respect rules, boundaries, and authority than let him go hog wild, do what he wants, and when he's older he has a MUCH LARGER consequence for his disobedience. I'm doing this to protect him, essentially, just like the Lord disciplines us for OUR protection.
     So with all that being said, please continue to pray for us that we'll have discernment in how to raise Marcus, including how to discipline him consistently and lovingly. We also need prayer that we are positive examples for him to follow. Thanks for your prayers and thanks for taking the time to keep up with us on this blog. Until next time, enjoy the pictures below. I hope to have pictures of Marcus' new "cousin" Madison on the next blog.